Legal Antics

Why lawyers shouldn't marry each other.

Via Courtoons:

Um, yeah. Because that's what I always assume when I see a happy attorney.

The Loincloth and Spear Were Also a Tip-Off

Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things
via Overheard in the Office, Oct 16, 2009

Pictures are always important for an assistant-especially when "bonuses" are involved.

Personal Assistant fo Lawyer (downtown Dallas)

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Date: 2009-09-28, 11:34AM CDT
Reply to: gigs-qwdsr-1396354665@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Attractive and high-powered Dallas Lawyer looking for a very attractive, sexy and fun female to serve as a Personal Assistant. We have a sometime intense work environment and need to decompress when things calm down. Pay is negotiable, in addition to bonuses for a job well done. If interested, please reply WITH PICS AND SOME INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF!

Serious Inquiries Only Please! I am looking for someone who is serious about desiring this position. Only replies with pics will be considered.

• Location: downtown Dallas
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: DOE

PostingID: 1396354665

I second that emotion!

Now Describe Yourself in One Sentence.

Legal secretary: The last thing I need is to get arrested for stealing a dead woman's flowers.

Salt Lake City, Utah
via Overheard in the Office, Oct 12, 2009

Oh Ladies... Any takers? Anyone? Bueller?

HANDSOME YOUNG ATTORNEY LOOKING FOR WOMAN OVER 35

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Date: 2009-10-11, 8:33PM PDT

Reply To This Post

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This is for women over 35 only ...no young dumb girls....and no insecure or flaky girls.
I am a handsome, mature, young attorney and author who loves older women...as they are a pleasure to be around, both for fun and for conversation. I have also found that they are also the most sensual and sexiest and openminded in the bedroom. I love to give pleasure to a sexy experienced lady. I am a very openminded person in that respect and love to communicate and get to know a woman's body. I've found that older women are much more sexually mature and worldly overall

I am an attorney and a model so i have done more in my life than most...and I am rich with life experiences. I have traveled to over 40 countries and I have had some amazing adventures in my life.....its been a thrill ride...and i want to share it with a mature woman.

.

I'm not looking for a gf or a wife, just a fun, dramafree time with someone cool. We can go out and hang out and enjoy life. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I love you and then cheat. I am being honest from the start. We can have a great time without the jealousy and drama.

If you want a young guy who loves to massage and kiss, but also to talk and listen, then you have found the right guy.


If you are a lady who can speak intelligently but can also talk dirty, you are my type of woman. That is a sexy combo


Lets get together and see why older women younger guy is the hottest thing going.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1417274457

Because two lawyers are better than one?

Hat tip: Scott Greenfield via Twitter (Simple Justice).

Reality bites.

Via Courtoons:

Of course not. Isn't that why we all went to law school? Because we hated science?

12PM Lawyers Are Not Doctors, Dear Reader

Attorney #1: Back in college my girlfriend got mono, but I didn't. I attribute it to having an immune system like Vince Neil.

Attorney #2: That guy could fight off the HIV!

County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan
via Overheard in the Office, Sep 24, 2009

Good luck ladies. You're gonna need it.

Ambitious, Handsome, Successful, Smart, Happy M ISO F - 35 (Los Angeles)

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Date: 2009-10-04, 10:21AM PDT

Reply To This Post

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I am successful, ambitious and confident. Very happy. Financially secure and responsible. Handsome. Sexy. Dependable. Respectful. Optimistic. Very witty. I am funny, crack myself up and make others laugh! I actually made Jay Leno laugh. I am not afraid of making decisions. If I were taken by my date to a party where I knew no one, I would strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends. When I go somewhere, I am usually on time. I am serious and do not play games.

In addition, I am smart, assertive, engaging, driven, reliable, attentive, romantic, classy, educated lawyer and entrepreneur (who built a multi million dollar organic food company selling high-end food products).

I am in good physical shape and work out regularly. I read avidly.

I love hiking, sailing, opera, football, ballet, classical music, jazz, tennis,swimming, literature, architecture, art or (fine arts), museums, history, Europe, ethnic restaurants, etc. I often travel nationally and internationally. Love weekend getaways.

I also enjoy simple things in life like the rain and the sunset, the ocean and the stars. I actually smell the roses in my garden every day.

I am 35 y.o., Caucasian, 5'9" 178, Christian, with a sexy smile and cheerful demeanor.

I ENJOY LEARNING NEW THINGS, EXPERIENCING NEW ADVENTURES. I AM NEVER BORED.

I am single, have never been married and do not have children.

YOU ARE 26-32 (please tell me your exact age), and

(a) a Christian,
(b) know what you want from life (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE know specifically what you want);
(c) are fairly attractive (no need to be a model or a pageant beauty);
(d) have COMMON SENSE and Good Values;
(e) are ready for a serious, meaningful, long term relationship,
friendship, marriage and family;
(f) want children;
(g) do not have children;
(h) are not busy or very busy with work/studies/etc.; have time to meet and develop a relationship.

Please send your picture(s) along with your specific reply. Write "Interested" in the reply box.

Thank you.

Good luck to everyone.

• Location: Los Angeles
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Just call this plaintiff "Dr. Evil"

I wish I had the complaint, but this headline will have to do:

Man sues BofA for "1,784 billion, trillion dollars."